Final Fantasy Law
by peach petal9
Summary: The law is put into their hands. May you never go to trial.
1. It Begins

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Squaresoft characters, although I am to blame for what will happen to them.

(Fizz, Crack, Fizzzzzzzz, BEEEEPPP!)

FF III Justice: Hollywood Style!

Cast: Bailiff- LockeJudge- Gestal

Defense-EdgarProsecution- Kefka

Defendant-EdgeWitness-Celes

The courtroom is settling in for the first case at the Vector Central Circuit. Judge Gestal enters the room."Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the court is now in sesss…." Locke fades off at the end. Gestal looks at him sharply. Edgar stands up suddenly. "Objection, Your Honor."

Geshtal looks at him."To what?"

Edgar grins."Nothing, Your Honor. We're just warming up."

Kefka stands up and looks to Gestal. "Your Honor, the people would just like to state that we also have no objections at this time." He sits back down. Edgar snorts and crosses his arms across his chest. "Objection, Your Honor. Every time the defense says something, the prosecution feels they have to say something."

Kefka glares at him. "The people do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

Edge stands up and throws his hands up in defeat. "Ok, stop! I confess! I'm Guilty!" Gestal turns to Locke and mutters. "(Who is this guy, anyway?) Ahem! Order in the court!" He then turns to prosecution. "Proceed."

Kefka looks down at his papers."Uh… where were we?"

Gestal checks his notes. "You were on, 'Do not'."

Kefka snaps his fingers at the realization."Oh, right. Do not!" He sits down.

Edgar stands up again."Your Honor, the prosecution is clearly jealous of the defense because we have a lot of marquee legal talents such as F. Lee Bailey and the late Raymond Burr."

"Objection, Your Honor. The people have reason to believe that **that** is not really F. Lee Bailey." Kefka points over to the defense team.

(a murmur runs through the court.)

Gestal bangs his gavel."Darn it, Bailiff! I ordered the murmurs be removed from this courtroom!"

Locke draws his gun. "I'll take care of it, sir." He slinks off to find the murmur.

Kefka continues. "Your Honor, if that IS F. Lee Bailey, how come he hardly SAYS anything? He just sits there day after day, not moving. The people request permission to stick him with a pin."

Gestal nods in approval."I'll allow it."

Kefka removes the feather from his hair and walks over to 'F. Lee Bailey'. Edgar looks at him with a pout and stands back from the 'defense attourney'.

F. Lee Bailey: POP! SSSSSsssssss………….

Gestal sighs with irritation."Let the record show that "F. Lee Bailey" is actually an inflatable doll wearing a 1,000 GP suit."

Edgar grins."Objection, Your Honor. That suit cost 1,500 GP."

Suddenly Cyan pops out of nowhere."Do you have a receipt?"

Edgar looks at him in alarm. "Objection! Thisman is from an entirely differentTV show!

"I'll sustain the objection."

Edgar looks at him puzzled."…….Which one"!

Geshtalrealizes his doesn't know and snaps."I have no idea! Let's proceed with the expert witness." Celes walks upto the stand and takes the oath. Kefka walks up to her slowly and leans over."Please state your name and the size of your book advance."

Celes leans back and gives him a look of caution. "My name is Celes A. Chere and my advance is 350,000 GP."

"And who will be playing you in the movie?"

"We were thinking of Brad Pitt."

Edgar stands up with an arm raised. "Objection! We were considering Brad Pitt playing us."

Kefka's eyes widen at the King. He turns his head in disgust. "Brad Pitt? YOU! Your Honor, the people request permission to laugh until little snot bubbles form in the people's nostrils."

Edge drops his head onto the desk. "I'll sign a full confession. ( I don't even know why I'm on trial!)"

Edgar rolls his eyes. "And we suppose the prosecution wishes to be played by Demi Moore?" he says sarcastically.

"No, Sharon Stone." Kefka replies sarcastically.

Gestal is getting tired of this."I'll allow it. Proceed."

Kefka continues."General Celes, you are a biological and genetic expert, are you not?"

"I am." Celes nods.

"And do you thing the people's hairstyles look better this way, or the way the people were before?" He flashes her two pictures of the extra characters' hairstyles from FFVI and FFIV.

"This way." Celes points to the FFVI pictures.

Gestal rubs his beard."What about my beard?"

Celes looks at him unimpressed. "With all due respect, Your Honor, I have seen more impressive facial hair on a coconut."

(laughter)

Gestal turns red in the face. "Bailiff! Where is that laughter coming from?"

Locke points above theprevious line. "From inside a set of parentheses, sir."

Gestal shakes his head sighing. "I'll allow it. Continue."

"General Celes, I am handing you exhibit No. 2038-B. Can you identify this item for the court?"

Celes squintz then nods."Yes, it is a DNA molecule from the defendant."

"Objection! We can't see the exhibit!" Edgar gives a snicker.

Kefka twirls around as fast as a top and points at Edgar. "Of course you can't you Hinky! It A MOLECULE!"

"Or a poppy seed, you know. It's a 73 chance either way." Celes interjects.

Kefka istrying to regain a straight face as he speaks."Now, Gen. Celes, can you tell the court, in your own expert words, what 'DNA' stands for?"

Celes glares at him. "What are you, a WACKO? Of course." She finishes calmly.

Kefka steps back from her. "I…see. Now Gen. Celes, could you please tell the jury…as an expert, whether the defendant could have this DNA molecule-or poppy seed at the scene of the-"

"Tell WHAT jury!" Celes blurts out exasperated.

Gestal looks around the room and realizes she is right. He slaps his hand down on the desk. "Darnit, bailiff! The jury escaped again!"

(another murmur runs through the court)

Locke gets out his gun and shoots with no real target. POP!"I got the murmur, Your Honor!"

Edgar stands up and points to the side of the room "Objection The bailiff shot a reporter from the National Enquirer!"

Gestal smiles with approval. "I'll allow it!"

Kefka takes no notice of the event. "Your Honor, while we're waiting for the authorities to track down the jury, the people request Your Honor's permission to ask the witness approximately 850 unbelievably redundant questions."

"Of course."

"Objection! As councel for the defendant, we cannot-"

Gestal looks to their side and cuts in."Hey, where is the defendant?"

Edge is seen running out of the courtroom. "AAAAAHHHHH!"

Case Closed.

Notes- Don't ask me what Edge was on trial for nor what he was doing there. Obviously it was an error or a glitch in the game and that was probably why he was on trial.

Ok, I'll send out another chapter just for you to get the feel for the stories. Peachy!


	2. Check please!

Ok, here is the next chapter. Right now it will be a lot of the 'Law' shows, because that is what we started with. Afterwards, we began to create different shows for different games. So be patient, if you are waiting for your favorite Final Fantasy characters. They will be in here. Again, these are older stories.

Here we go!

It's time for FFIII Law Hollywood Style

Cast:

Bailiff-Locke

Judge- Geshtal

Defendant-Terra

Defense-Edgar, Cyan, and Shadow

Prosecution-Kefka,

Guests-Sabin, Relm, and 'O.J. Simpson'

Judge Gestal enters the room and Locke stands up. "Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the court is now in session."

"Bring in the next case." Gestal settles into his recliner chair.

Locke reads out the claim. "Terra Branford, a parking ticket for 50 GP. Do you wish to pay or proceed with a trial."

Terra rummages through her purse for her checkbook. "I-" Suddenly, the courtroom bursts open and Edgar stands there pointing at Gestal as if her were the accused. "Objection Your Honor! This person is critically innocent and I shall see to it that she is appointed innocent and set free from this misunderstanding!" He bounds into the room and sits himself by Terra. She looks appalled.

(a murmur)

Gestal looks around the room furiously. "Bailiff! What is that murmur still doing in here…alive?" he growls.

"But- Your Honor, he shot the reporter." Edgar points out. Locke shakes his head slowly with disappointment. "I did not, I popped it, (moo)…"

Gestal slams his gavel."Order!" (Bam) "This is not a trial yet, Mr. Figaro."

Terra gets up and points to Edgar."Your Honor! That man was following me in the parking lot that day! I was so afraid he was going to jump me…I mean, his fake mustache was dangling off his upper lip. It was so horrifying."

"Order please! Ms. Branford, were you actually attacked by this man?" Gestal looks at Edgar disapprovingly.

Terra looks down. "Well, no. But he chased me across the lot until he tripped."

Edgar just sits and puts on his charming grin.A fart echoes through the court. Everyone turns around to the doors. Sabin is standing there."I came to watch." he says. He throughbutbumps into bailiff Locke.

"Ooof! Watch it chunky!" Locke rubs his arm. Sabin pays him no mind and finds a seat.

Gestal turns his attention back to Terra. "Let's proceed. Ms. Branford, will you pay or would you like a song and dance from these imbeciles?"

Before she can speak, Edgar stands up. "She MUST be trialed. For all we know the parking meter could have been broken."

"Go away!" she begs. A soda can fizzes and pops open. Everyone turns to Sabin who is taking a gulp. "SSSSLLLUUURRRP! Aaaah! Hi." Locke giggles uncontrollably in the background.

Gestal gives Sabin a glare as he speaks to his brother. "Mr. Figaro, what do you have to say to her accusations?"

"Your Honor, I have with me a witness." he responds.

(a murmur)

Gestal turns to Locke."Bailiff, kill it!"

The gun goes off. POP!

Locke opens his eyes and grins."I-I got it… I love being a TURTLE!"

"Bailiff, control yourself! You are not here to amuse! If you wish to intimidate people, do it with your popper."

Kefka grins."He's amusing me."

Gestal sighs and bangs the gavel. "Ugh! Mr. Figaro, what witness?" The happertop flings off and hits Locke out cold.

"O.J. Simpson Your Honor."

The name doesn't register at first and Gestal snaps out of his boredom. "O.J.- O.J. Simpson? What's he got to do with this?" he barks at the defense attourney.A paperclip lands in Geshtal's wig. Edgar is trying to hide his grin.

Gestal looks at him suspiciously."Is there something you wish to tell the court?"

Edgar can't speak, instead he cracks up with laughter.

"What's so funny?" he presses. Sabin lets out another fart. Edgar snaps out of his fit as if the gas broke the spell. "Your Honor, O J Simpson is here to see if PSQ will accept him again."

Kefka spins apencil lazily on the deskand leans on his other hand ashe speaks."Your Honor, may I point out to you that "Mr. Simpson" is not real?" He then points the pencil to the 'OJ Simpson'.

Gestal blinks "Oh? How so?"

Kefka sits up and snorts. "Oh, please. You mean to tell me you did not see the mesh wiring under his polyester afro?"

Gestal away embarrassed. "Oh, I did… uh yeah."

"Your Honor, we request your permission to screw off his head."

Gestalshrugs and then nods."Actually, I think we would all like to see that."

Edgar nods quickly. "That's right, rip the sucker's head off- I mean, hey that's my dummy. You know I paid an artist a lot of money to look like him." Meanwhile Terra is busy writing out a check.

Kefka walks over and with one swift movement, twists the dummy's head off. It drops and rolls to the floor. "You see? He did it again! This is junk! Garbage! Trash!" Kefka pushes itover and startsjumping all over the dummy.

"Order!" Gestal bangs a rubber gavel.(Honk, Honk!) Everyone looks up at him in surprise. He looks back at them helplessly as he does not know what happened to his original gavel. Locke wakes up slowly. "Everybody please…" Gestal begs.

Suddenly, Relm walks into the court. "May I interrupt for a moment?"

Gestal leans over and looks down at the girl. "Yes?" She gets up and jumps onto his stand then pulls out a magnet. She dragsit through Gestal's wig and pulls out paperclips. Lots of them. "Huh? Wh-what's the meaning of all this!" he sputters.

"It came with the wig Your Honor." Edgar remarks. Both Defense and Prosecution break out in laughter.

"Order!" (Honk!)

"Make that three boiled eggs." Edge pops and remarks. Relm gasps. "It's that defendant, sir."

Gestal waves her away. "I'm too busy."

"Your Honor, I would like to bring Sabin Figaro up to the stand." Edgar states.

Sabin sits down at The Stand. "What were you doing at the scene of the crime?" Edgar questions the younger brother.

"Watching Terra's car."

Edgar looks at him perplexed. "Why were you watching her car?"

Sabin shrugs. "I dunno, it was one of those times were you kinda zone out and you fixate on something and just stare and stare and stare and you can't stop."

Edgar nods slowly. "Ooookay…."

Kefka snaps up quickly. "Wait a minute! I know it's not my place to ask, but if you were watching Terra's car, how come you didn't get a ticket?"

Sabin looks at him with wonder. "So that's what that little paper was…"

Edgar slaps him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm here for you bro."

Sabin looks down depressed. "Oh,darn."

Geshtal slaps his forehead. "This is politically incorrect! Ms. Branford, what do you have to say about this- Ugh!" He is suddenlyhit with Terra's checkbook. She bolts for the door.

"Wait!" Edgar gets up and chases after her.

Terra screams and runs away.

Case closed

Notes- I think by now Locke's intelligence is beginning to fade. I don't know why though. Please don't ask what a happertop is… It must be a made up thing in their world. Whatever it is, it made Judge Gestal's gavel honk.

Next time!

Please let me know what you think!


	3. The Murmur Trial

Here's the next chapter of wonderfully ultra-fantastic chaotic Final Fantasy Law!

Next case…The murmur trial. Gogo is being accused of murmuring in the courtroom.

Yuffie is standing outside of Vector Courts with a cameraman and a microphone. She grins and the red light shows she's on air. "Hiyee everybody! I decided to replace that dreadfully dull girl with green hair. We will now enter the courtroom and see what injustice, I mean, what the verdict will be for Gogo Spence."

They walk up the stairs and into the building. They pass the Vector guards with Yuffie's reporter I.D. and head straight for the courtroom. Everybody is being seated. They look over to see the defense team that consists of Shadow, Cyan, and Edgar. They move the camera to the right to show the prosecution team; Kefka. Yuffie whispers to the camera. "Wow, three to one team. Is that really fair?" The cameraman replies, "This is Kefka we are talking about." Yuffie looks to him, wide-eyed. "Oh you know him?" The cameraman doesn't reply. Apparently Yuffie does not know about the villain's rampage.

Before he can respond, Judge Gestal enters and Locke stands up. "All rise for Judge Gestal. Here ye, here ye, court is now in session." Everyone sits down waiting for Gestal to begin. He sifts through his papers, adjusts his chair, places his reading glasses on the tip of his crooked nose, etc..

"Ahem! Let's start with opening statements. Prosec-

"Objection, Your Honor!" Kefka suddenly shouts out.

"Object-OBJECTION? What do you mean objection, we haven't even started yet!" Gestal barks out. He can tell this is going to be one of THOSE cases.

Kefka simply shrugs. "I'm sorry Your Honor. I'm just used to hearing Edgar's nagging voice right about now." Gestal calms himself and nods. "Yes, so we all are. However, I trust the defense team will handle the attorney with the proper warnings given prior to the case." He looks down harshly at the defense team. They smile back and Edgar struggles with the ropes that tie him to his chair. The rag muffles his cries. Gogo mimics him. Edgar glares back at him.

"Let us proceed with this case." Gestal says with a gleam of triumph in his eyes. Kefka gets up and begins to walk the floor. "Your Honor, we all know Gogo as the friendly neighborhood mime…"

"Objection, Your Honor!" a voice shouts out from the defense team's side. "Who said that?" Gestal looks over to the other side. Shadow and Cyan look as puzzled as he does. They then turn to look at Edgar. Edgar looks pleased with himself. All three look down at his hand which is holding a tape recorder with his voice on it. Gestal growls, "Take that away from him." The defense team wrestle with him for a moment and manage to get the device away from him by tickling him.

"Are we done here?" the judge asks. With a nod of approval from the two free men, Gestal turns back to Kefka. "Proceed."

Kefka looks away with a snub. "I shall not!"

Gestal glares at him. "Why?"

"Where is MY legal team?" he replies.

"Here is me!" a voice replies from the audience. Setzer stands up and straightens his jacket. "And uh…" just randomly picking somebody else out, pulls up Sabin. "Sabin." He finishes with a grin. Sabin jerks away from his grip, "Man, git your hands offa me!" He follows him up anyway. As they sit down, Sabin mutters, "So we gotta prosecute this guy? How are we gonna go 'bout doin' that?"

Kefka seems satisfied with his team and continues, "As I was saying, but what these people didn't know was that this 'innocent' clothball was driving Gestal to the brink of insanity! Why?"

"He wanted to use his wig?" Shadow interjects, unimpressed with Kefka's statement.

"No! Gogo Spence wanted to overthrow Judge Gestal's wig!" With that, Kefka swoops around and sits back down. Shadow stands up. "Objection, this prosecution is a group of theatrical performers form Vapco and Company. They come into this courtroom everyday, wearing makeup and unruly costumes." Setzer, Sabin, and Kefka look down at their clothes in shock. Shadow continues, "I believe they are not of sound mind and should not be allowed to pursue this case any further."

Setzer gets up and points to Shadow accusingly. "Oh, so you can get away with your mask and black leotard outfit?" Shadow points his thumb to his chest. "Hey, chicks dig the back view. It keeps them entertained when they have to listen to you."

Suddenly, Ifrit comes out and bellows, "NOW THAT'S ENOUGH!" Then he disappears. Gestal slams his gavel down. "Bailiff! I thought I said no Espers in this court!" Locke gets up. "Got it, sir."

"Defense, this had better be good." The judge warns. Cyan gets up and walks to the center of the floor. He thinks for a moment and turns to face the audience.

"Your Honor, and people of the audience. I would respectfully like to say that the defense refuses to believe this nonsense. Gogo is an innocent man, woman, or whatever it is he chooses to be. He is only here because someone wishes to exploit his unique talent to imitate. In this case, this brings up an interesting and valuable question. If Gogo mimicked the murmur, who was it that murmured in the first place? For that is the true culprit of the crime. We, the defense, believe that he or she is somewhere in the courtroom waiting for a chance to slip up." Cyan returns to his seat.

Gestal for once, is pleased that the opening statement went well. He relaxes and fingers his mustache. "Prosecution, it is your first witness. What are you doing?" He sits alert as the prosecution pulls out a weird phone.

"We are calling our first witness." Sabin replies with a grin. Setzer nudges Kefka with a chuckle. "C'mon call her up."

"Heh, heh, like she's really going to do it." Kefka says then giggles maniacally. He pushes some numbers and they begin to snicker as the phone rings. A female voice picks up the phone. "Hello?"

Setzer grabs the phone out of Kefka's hand. "Yeah, uh, would you like to kootchie kootchie in my Jacuzzi?" He hangs up and the boys break out in hysterics. Gestal slams his fist down. "You fools! Call your first witness or else I'm going to switch to defense!"

Kefka is the first to recover. "We call the old man to the stand." Strago stands and shouts back. "I am not an old man!" He grumbles all the way to the stand. He sits down and Sabin approaches. "State your name and occupation!"

"Old man- uhg!" he catches himself and a few chuckles come out from the audience. "Strago Magus and I make monster costumes." Sabin nods. "That's what I thought. Now, I want you to recall exactly what you saw in the courtroom that day."

"Well," Strago begins, "it was a nuthouse as usual in the courtroom when suddenly a murmur ran through the courtroom. Locke popped it and Gogo collapsed." Sabin paces back and forth in front of the elder man. " Strago, did you see Gogo murmur?" Strago frowned. "Well, I heard his voice. I couldn't see his lips move, they are covered by, whatever that is on his face."

"I prefer to call it a coverlet." Gogo points out. Gestal nods. "Defense, any questions?" Shadow walks over to Strago, but not without pushing Sabin towards his seat. "Strago, how do you know it was Gogo for certain?"

"Because Locke shot him."

"Oh really, and would you bet your life on Locke's aim? How about we take this apple," Shadow produces a shiny red fruit front out of nowhere, "and have a little target practice." He places it on top of Strago's head. He suddenly gets the idea and shakes the apple off. "N-no way!" Shadow turns his gaze to Judge Gestal. "No more questions, uh…" he stops short as he watches a paperclip fly into Gestal's wig. The judge looks at him suspiciously. "What?" Shadow doesn't say anything but turns to walk back to his seat without cracking up.

Gestal blinks with confusion, but regains focus. "Defense, it is your turn." Cyan stands up. "Your Honor, we would like to call General Celes to the stand." Celes walks up to the stand and sits down softly. Shadow walks up slowly. "State your full name and best body feature."

She looks up with shock. "What?"

"For the record please, my record. Then your occupation, if you want." He smirks. "Ugh!" She turns away with disgust. "Then you can leave after a few questions, with me." Celes turns angrily to Judge Gestal. "Your Honor!"

Gestal isn't even paying attention . "I'll allow it. Proceed." Celes gasps at this. Shadow continues. "Ma'm?" Celes turns back to him with fury. "General Celes Chere and…my hair is my best feature." Shadow leans in closer to her. "We would like to remind you that you are under oath." She gives him the evil eye. "My legs are my best feature."

Shadow nods and steps back. "Alright, you were doing something at the scene of the crime, but it isn't clear what it really was, nor do we care, what do you recall?"

"Well, it was the climax of the scene, and suddenly a murmur came into the courtroom. Locke fired his popper without a clear target and Gogo was struck. If you ask me, I don't know why he is the bailiff when he has no real training in law enforcement. It should be me or even General Leo." She finishes more to herself than to Shadow.

"So he wasn't aiming."

"God, no his eyes were closed." She shakes her head in disbelief. Locke looks up from his magazine and grins sheepishly. "Hee, hee, I hate the loud sound it makes."

Shadow starts to walk back. "Thank you, so Gogo did not murmur."

"I'm afraid he did." Celes replies sadly.

"Aha!" Setzer shouts out.

"But, Gogo was in the back of the room. The murmur I heard came from the front of the room."

Gestal nods. "You may step down, General Celes." As she walks back, there is a soft murmur of voices. Gestal snaps up. "What? What was that?"

The defense team jumps up and down pointing at the prosecution team. "Them! It's them!"

"Prosecution!"

What Kefka turns to them wide eyed and furious. "What?"

Gestal glares at them. "That's it."

Setzer waves his hand in denial. "No, we were just talking about our next move."

"I'm free!" Gogo shouts.

"No!" wails Sabin.

"Case dismissed! Gogo, you're free to go. Prosecution, come here!" he crooks his finger at them.

POP! POP! POP!

Yuffie stands up and stretches as she signs off. "As the prosecution team falls to the floor, with the exception of Setzer, and one jury member is hit, the case is closed. This is Yuffie signing off. Bye!

End.

Notes- I don't know why I keep mixing up FF characters into different stories. I just love to see it though.


	4. The Missing Locke

Author's Notes- Ok, next up is FF VI Law. Here will be an interesting case that may shape the future! Awww, I doubt it but it sounded like a cool idea. On with the show.

This is Vector Central!

Cast:

Judge- Gestal

Bailiff- Locke

Defendant- Setzer

Defense Team- Shadow, Cyan, and Gogo

Prosecutor- Impressario

Prosecution Team- Kefka, Leo, and Sabin

Witnesses- Celes, "Draco"

Reporter(s)- Yuffie/Terra

Reporter1: Hi, I'm Terra Branford and this is-

Reporter2: (in unison) Hiyee, this is Yuffie and it-

Reporter1: Hey! What do you think you are doing?

Reporter2: A better job at reporting, obviously.

Reporter1 (Terra) glares. "Ugh! This isn't even your station. Get out!"

Reporter2 (Yuffie) rolls her eyes. "Fine. But if your ratings drop dramatically, don't wonder why." Yuffie snaps her fingers and the cameraman that was shooting her, calls on a PHS and a blue van drives up. They pile in and take off leaving Terra in the dust.

Terra sighs and straightens her dress. "Sorry for that folks. As I was saying, I'm here live at Vector Liberty Courts where liberty is over-exaggerated! A complaint made many months ago is now being brought into court today; the damages done to the Opera House! Let's join the session."

Geshtal claps his hands and rubs them together. "Finally, a real case!" He grins with delight.

Setzer, who usually sits on the other side, tries to make conversation with the enemy. "So, uh, guys…Anything I said about you guys before, in the past is, uh, water under the airship, right?" He looks at them sheepishly.

"Shut up!" The defense team replies in unison.

Shadow turns to him. "We're just doing this because you paid us three times the amount required."

"WHAT!" Setzer gasps and turns to Gogo. Gogo had been the one to figure up the fees.

"Hee hee! You got jacked!" Gogo grins.

"Man, you guys better do a good job. I won't have any money left." Setzer covers his face with his hands. He suddenly looks up at Gogo. "And by the way, Gogo aren't you with Kefka"?

Gogo shook his head furiously. "He plotted against me in another life."

Setzer stands back. "..the hell?"

Cyan steps in to change the subject. "Do not worry, sir. We always do a good job."

Setzer shook his head in dismay. "You know you guys have to do better job than all your other messes."

He is met with ominous silence.

Setzer held up his hands in apology. "Sorry, I'll shut up." He sits down quickly.

Locke stands up. "Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Court is now in session!" Gestal walks in and sits down.

"Alright, let's get this circus started. Statements!" Gestal bangs his gavel.

Kefka stands up. "Your Honor, the Impressario has been running the Global Opera House for 21 years. He has kept up with his taxes, funding, and sponsors. He aims at pleasing the audiences every season and…keeping up with the repairs. That is, until the unexpected happened." He points to Setzer, "That man happened!"

Setzer stands up. "I'm sorry but that dragon thing was not my fault."

Gestal bangs his gavel. He frowns down at the prosecutor-turned-defendant. "Silence, we'll get to your side in a moment. Proceed."

Kefka nods. "Thank you. The Impressario is demanding six million gil for the roof, 5 hundred thousand gil for lighting and electrical equipment-

"Nah-uh!" Setzer shouts.

"Setzer!" Gestal barks.

"-and 300 gil for the misplaced one ton weight!"

Setzer looks incredulously at the Judge. "That wasn't even…I don't even know what that's about!"

Gestal gives him the 'Evil Eye'. "One more outburst from you and I'll hold you in contempt!"

Setzer stares back with slight confusion. "What's that?"

"That means Locke takes care of you for a day."

Locke grins. "Hee hee. I lock you up in the dungeon."

Shadow snorts. "Oh please, Locke. It's a bouncy castle."

Locke pouts. "He still can't get out of it. If he pops it, it just collapses on him."

Kefka looks to Gestal. "Your Honor?"

Gestal's attention reverts back to Kefka. "Oh yes, sorry. Please proceed."

Kefka turns his head in disgust. "No."

"Why not?" asks Gestal.

"I'm done." Kefka hops over the desk and sits down.

Gestal bites back a remark. "Fine. Defense team please-

"TRAITOOOOOORRRRRRSSSSS!" Setzer yells.

Sabin laughs in the background. Shadow pulls Setzer down. "Shut up and sit down! Let us do the talking!"

Gogo stands up. "Your Honor, if it was not for this man, the world would have been **Destroyed…**" he looks to Kefka.

"Hmph!" Kefka simply huffs and crosses his arms across his chest.

Gogo continues, " …by an evil villain. If it was not for this man, Doomgaze would still be wrecking havoc. This man is widely preyed upon for his money, his undeniably good looks…

"Hey, he's pretty good." Setzer murmurs to Shadow.

"Shh!"

"…and his airship. It is obvious that anybody would want to sue him because of his wealth and ominously lucky streak of wins."

Setzer: (?)

"Today we will prove that none of the damages named in this case is Setzer's fault. Thank you." He sits down. Cyan and Shadow give Gogo a treat for doing a good job.

Gestal reads over his papers. "Prosecution, any witnesses? (Hmm, my airship payment was late….)"

Leo stands up. "_Prosecution calls up…I'm sorry Setzer but I have to-_

Gestal looks up and over his glasses. "I'm sorry, prosecution please refrain from talking in italics. Not everyone can read your speech."

"Is this better? We call up world class opera talent, Draco." Draco stands up from the back of the room.

"What a **class** act! Is that his real name?" Sabin whispers as Draco struts up.

"Shh!" Kefka hisses back. The baritone gets to the stand and takes his oath.

"Draco, where were you when all of the chaos happened?" Leo walks over to him.

Draco speaks only he sings his lines. "I was singing my solo and dancing with the fair Maria. Then suddenly, things wennnt blaaaaack!"

Gestal winces. "Do you have to do that?"

Draco looks to him and in a high baritone voice, "YEEESSSS!"

Gestal sighs and resumes paper work. "Proceed."

Leo nods. "What did you see when you came to?"

Draco points to Setzer. "Setzer was carrying of my leading lady away through. A. Hole. In. The. ROOOOOF!"

(music swells)

Gestal jumps up and bangs his gavel, his paper work spills all over the place. "Bailiff! Where is that music coming from?"

Locke looks up with hesitation at the music swell in parenthesis. "Uhh, I…don't know sir."

"Take care of it!" Gestal barks.

Locke nods. "Yes, sir!"

"Proceed." Grumbles Gestal.

"And what did you see when you saw Setzer above you?" Leo continued.

"An Airshiiiiip!"

"Thank you." Leo sits down.

Shadow walks up to the stand. "Draco, I am sure you are only **assuming** that the airship broke the roof. Did you actually witness the airship breaking the roof, Draco? If that is your **real** name?

Draco: -

Gogo stands up suddenly and exclaims. "Wait, that can't be your real name! My file states your real name is Goober Franley!"

Draco looks around nervously. "Ummmm!"

Shadow points his finger at 'Franley'. "Ah-hah! So, you lied about you name! Therefore, you have committed perjury! Locke!"

"I got it!" chirps Locke, happy to pop him.

POP!

"No! Locke I did not give you permission to pop him!" Gestal slaps his forehead with a growl.

"Oops! Sorry sir."

Sabin stands up angrily. "You crazy cornball! You shot our only witness!"

"Hee hee hee!" Setzer giggled with glee.

Gestal points to the unconscious lump. "Locke, remove Draco from the stand."

Locke nods quickly. "Okay, rrrrgh!" He hauls him off the stand and takes him to a back room labeled 'water closet'.

"We demand to trade our popped witness for one of theirs." Demands Sabin.

Cyan rebuts. "Absolutely not! You should have used Goober's real name!"

Gestal crosses his arms and looks to Prosecution. "Alright! You have 12 seconds to get a new witness due to Locke's popperfinger."

Kefka grabs a hold of Leo's and Sabin's shoulder. "Alright guys, huddle!" The three men gather into a circle. Gestal looks on suspiciously and slightly agitated.

"So, who do we call? The chocobos?" whispers Sabin.

Leo shakes his head. "No, we would need translators, too much time."

Sabin checks his watch. "We've got 5 seconds!"

Kefka snaps his fingers. "I've got it! Your Honor?"

Gestal leans over. "Yes?"

"We call Maria up to the stand."

Shadow stands up quickly. "Wait!" he whispers to Gogo, "(get Celes quick! Make sure they just aren't sneaking her away from us!)"

Gogo nods "Right!" and runs off.

Geshtal looks at them, puzzled. "What are you doing?"

Shadow shrugs. "Making sure of something. So, uh, is that a new wig?"

Gestal nods slowly, looking hard at the defense team. "Oh yes. The other one couldn't be saved. You know, the **PAINT BOMB!"**

"Oh." Shadow responds dumbly.

Scuffling can be heard in the back.

"Let go of me!" Celes yells. She tries to wriggle out of Sabin's grasp.

Sabin struggles to hold her still. "Jus' lemme put this ribbon in your hair!"

Gogo has her arm and tugs. "She is our witness! Not yours!"

"Both of you let go, or I won't cooperate with either of you!" She cries out.

Gestal breaks up the commotion. "Prosecution! Let go of the defense's witness!"

Kefka sits down in a huff. "Damn! No more witnesses Your Honor!" Sabin returns rubbing his ankle where Celes stabbed him with her high heel metal-tipped boot.

"Very well, Defense it's your turn."

Cyan stands up. "We call up Celes to the stand."

"You guys better behave this time." She warns.

Cyan bows. "I shall ask the questions here. Now, you were in charge of singing in place of Maria that night. Setzer had left a note stating he was going to kidnap her, correct?"

"Correct."

"Should we be stating that here in court?" Setzer adds uneasily.

Cyan ignores him. "Is this the note?" He pulls out the note and hands it to her. She looks at it for a moment and then nods. "That's the one."

Cyan looks to the jury. "At this point it does look to be Setzer's doing. However, something else happened. Another note appeared, did it not?"

"That is correct." Celes agrees.

"Before I come to that, please explain your turn of events."

"Well, it was the dance scene and at first I heard some noises coming from above. Then suddenly, four figures fell from the rafters."

"Who were they and can you point them out?"

Celes nods and points to Locke. "Well, first there was Locke…

Locke looks up from his manga and giggles. "Hee hee!"

"…Next was Edgar, but he's not here for obvious reasons. Then there was, well, it was Sabin…

Sabin looks to his comrades who glare at him. "Uhhh…I do not recall what happened that day due to amnesia, uh, yeah!"

"Who was the last figure?"

Celes looks around, "It was the one who wrote that other note." And points, "It was…HIM! ULTROS!"

Everyone: ULTROS!

(music swells)

Gestal bangs his gavel. "Bailiff! Stop that music from coming out of nowhere! And pop that villain!"

Locke stands up shakily. "Um, I don't know what to do first!" He steps up to Ultros.

Ultros grins madly. "Wha ha ha! You puny people are hopeless! Trying to fry your own for damages I did! I'm proud of my destruction! Mwa ha ha ha!"

Celes starts playing the helpless love interest. "Locke pop him!"

Locke pulls his popper out. "Hold it right there, Ultros!"

"Silly, silly, silly people! You get out of my way! MWA HA HA HA!" He swipes Locke away.

"Aieee!"

Gestal now realizes they're in trouble (just now?) "Oh, no!"

Ultros jumps to the center of the courtroom. "I'll eat everyone up in here. Here I go!"

Cyan goes behind their desk and whips out his sword. "We must stop this! Sabin! Shadow! Gogo!"

Opera battle music starts up. Everyone gets into their attacked-from-behind stance.

Gestal bangs his gavel, but to no avail. "That music! Argh! Well, it is a battle…"

Sabin, Shadow, Cyan, and Gogo all jump up and start to attack the giant octopus. Sabin bum rushes him. Ultros flinches and swipes him up with a tentacle and starts to squeeze. Cyan rushes up and slices the limb. He lets Sabin go and lets out a shriek. Shadow throws a few shuriken and Gogo imitates him. Ultros flinches. "Uh oh! Too strong! I'm outta here!"

Locke gets up. "You're not getting away!"

Ultros flings a tentacle out. "Take this!"

Shadow shields himself with an arm. "Ouch! He threw 2 gil at us!"

"Bye bye!" Ultros does his famous escape. SPLASH!

"Noo!" Locke shouts jumping in after him. SPLASH!

Shadow blinks several times. "H-How did he do that? There is no way he could disappear into the ground, let alone make a splash!"

"Locke! Oh my goodness!" Celes watches, horrified as her boyfriend is swallowed by the floor boards. She starts crying.

Sabin looks around. "Where'd he go?"

Leo shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't believe this. Locke!"

"Locke!" Gogo calls out, bringing out the K-9s.

"Don't copy me! Give me back my dogs. They're not used for that." Leo snaps.

"Where did my bailiff go? (sniff sniff)" Gestal starts to cry.

Cyan points to the roof. "Look! The ceiling has been destroyed!"

"And the lighting and electrical equipment is ruined!" Shadow replies looking around.

"And there's a misplaced one ton weight over here!" Setzer says from the back of the room.

"I deem you not guilty…Case dis..dis..WAAAHAHAHA!" Gestal begins balling like a child. He throws his gavel across the room.

"Hey, I'm the hurt loved one here!" Celes pouts.

"Don't worry, sir. We shall find him." Cyan bows.

"I think he should stay gone." Kefka throws out.

"What's the court without its stupid bailiff to take care of the murmurs and back ground music?" Leo asks to no one in particular.

Terra steps in front of the camera. "Oh dear! What will they do? As the case is dismissed and the roof destroyed, a new problem presents itself. Where is Locke? Time is short so I'll have to sign off now. "

Notes- I hope this story is ok. Please review.


	5. It's all a bit Teknical

I'm back for another installment of FFVI Law. It has been a long time but my laptop crashed with all of my stories on it (sniff). Well, here we go!

Terra jumps into view and flashes her professional grin as she introduces the case. "Hello everyone, we are back with a new case for Judge Gestal to decide on at the Vector Liberty Court Circuit. It is currently undergoing renovations due to last week's Ultros attack. However, this case will go on as scheduled. Today's case: the Espers vs. Professor Cid of the former Imperial Magitek Labs."

Terra and the cameraman enter the courtroom, ducking under the yellow construction tape. As they take their seats, the defense and prosecution team dust off their desks. A sign in front of Gestal's seat says, "Caution, all teams and witnesses must wear hard hats."

Suddenly, Locke comes out. "Here ye, here ye…"

He isn't heard over the loud hammering of the construction men repairing the balcony above. He glares at them slightly and tries again.

"Here ye, here ye…"

The hammering continues as Gestal steps in rubbing his temples. "Bailiff-

"I got it!" He interrupts pulling out his popper and shoots. POP! The construction crew goes down. Judge Gestal slaps his forehead.

"Bailiff! You popped the construction workers!" he barked.

Locke shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry sir."

Gestal sniffs and wipes a small tear from his eye. "Things are back to normal."

On the prosecution side, Sabin waves a hand back and forth in front of his face. "Ugh, what is that smell?"

Defense lawyer Gogo stands up to take a whiff. "Why it's…GAS!" He slumps over and Shadow pulls him back into his seat. "Gogo?" He pats his back, trying to wake him.

"Oh my word, is it safe to be here?" Cyan asks Judge Gestal.

Gestal nods. "We have the O.K. Besides, we have an APB on the weirdos who made this hole. We shall continue on as planned."

Locke reads out the case. "Today we bring Vector's top scientist Cid to the court. Cid is being charged with crimes against humanity and Espers. His tampering with human DNA and Espers, has been executed without any GDA approval. His experiments have led to hundreds of deaths. The world seeks to find justice swift and merciless."

Celes blushed. "You said that so professionally. I am proud of you Locke."

Locke grins.

"Perhaps this isn't the real Locke." Shadow wondered aloud.

More hammering arises in the back. Locke pulls out his popper and shoots. "I got it!"

"Locke you dolt, don't shoot the construction crew! For once Locke, let the noise go. Can we please get a move on?" Gestal begged.

Kefka stood up and bowed. "Very well, Cid whatever-his-name-is was no ordinary scientist. He was hired to tamper with human cells and manipulate them to whatever his desire. On top of that, Espers who are now gaining their own rights are also furious at the loss of many lives for a stint of power hungry fools… (ahem) Wewantjusticethankyou." He finished quickly.

Sabin murmured in Setzer's ear. "Boy he's got balls for sayin' that."

"Why is he even prosecuting when he's part of this?" he replies back.

Gestal nods and turns to the other side. "Defense?"

Cyan stands up and turns to the jury box. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we- wait! Where is the jury?"

"They…Where IS our jury?" Gestal realizes the box is empty. Locke taps his desk. "Um, from all of the past cases we would never get to the verdict, so they all left."

Gestal throws his hands up. "Oh, this is just great, so what do we do now?"

Shadow stands up. "Let's just skip that minor detail." Gestal nods and Cid tugs Shadow's arm and whispers, "Wait! I don't think that's right. After all, they are supposed to judge my case."

"Trust me, you want more leverage towards innocent, let it go." Shadow replied.

"Well, alright." Cid says pulling out his Will and signing it.

Cyan clears his voice. "As I was saying, Cid really should be rewarded for his efforts. He helped the world out quite a bit. If it wasn't for Cid, we would not have been able to escape the Magitek factory and save the world. He is going to stand up against the later court case against someone else in this room. The REAL culprits behind the tests."

There is suddenly a mysterious chime that echoes throughout the room. Everyone looks around to see where it came from.

"Bailiff, that sound…so mysterious." Gestal says with wonder.

Locke nods and gets up. "I got it." He leaves to pursue the sound. They all snap out of their moment of awe and Gestal turns to the prosecution team.

"Alright, your witness, and be careful." Gestal warns.

Kefka is already calling out. "Your Honor, we call up Stray to the stand."

The big grey cat bounds into the room. He starts confusing construction workers and people in the pews.

"MEOW!"

The defense and prosecution teams duck under their desks and Gestal slams his gavel down. "Get that Esper outta here! He's confusing the court! D'ah!" He ducks as Stray flies overhead.

Locke comes in locked and loaded. "I got it!"

He tries to pop the Esper but misses. Instead Stray lands a right and Locke goes sailing across the room. "Aiyeee hee hee hee!" He hits a pile of wood.

Celes cries out. "Locke!"

Locke stumbles out. "Lemme talk a buttermush?" He pops himself and he collapses.

It takes both teams to open the doors to the court and Stray bounces away. Murmurs run through the court.

"Order! Order in the court! Bailiff stop- ugh! Forget it! Order in the court! Somebody get me a new bailiff. Now, Prosecution please approach the bench."

Setzer, Sabin, and Kefka walk slowly up to the cross judge. He leaned over to them. "I am going to let this one go. Call next witness, but with caution… One more stunt like that and I'll throw all of you out of this courtroom."

Setzer snorts. "Hah, you wish! You can't even hit your gavel hard enough to stop the ruckus."

Gestal leans over and hits Setzer over the head with his gavel. "Consider the ruckus stopped! Don't take me lightly today. All this mess and no raise, has me in a foul mood."

The team walks back, Sabin whispers to his colleagues. "He is foul."

"What was that?" Gestal barks.

"I said next witness." Sabin yells out.

"No you didn't." Shadow retorts.

"I said next witness." Sabin grins. Setzer continues. "We call Old Strago to the stand."

Strago stands up and shuffles up to the stand. "I'm not old! I mean, well don't call me-

"Just get up there you old fart! We only have a limited amount of time before we lose our temper."

He grumbles up the rest of the way.

Sabin tries to begin. "Alright now-

"Now answer me this, "Strago interrupts, "why is it that I am always paired up with you bozos when it comes to this."

Setzer stands up. "Uh, we ask the questions here, but just to let you know the poll you took before the case puts you as a prosecuting kind of guy."

"And a winter color for your skin." Kefka adds. They all snicker.

Strago pounds his fist on the stand. "I won't tolerate this kind of treatment!"

"Then we will throw you in the bouncy castle." Sabin threatens.

Strago lets out a sigh of defeat. Sabin continues. "You are friends with a few people who were abducted and experimented on. Who were they and can you describe your emotions when you first saw them after their return?"

"Yes, my neighbor Mr. Bucklebrook right there," he points to the lizard man with orange scales, "was the first one I saw. I was horrified."

The audience gasps. "Then there's Mrs. Mora. She came back…in a plastic pouch."

There's another gasp. "Order please." Gestal says gravely.

Sabin nods. "And did Mr. Bucklebrook tell you who did this to them?"

Strago shook his head. "No, but Mrs. Mora did."

Sabin looks at him perplexed. "The one in the plastic pouch?"

"Yes, the one in the plastic pouch, before she disintegrated."

"Oh the horror!" Sabin turns to the crowd in mock horror. "Who was this vile individual behind this monstrosity?"

"It was Professor Cid of the Magitek Factory, that man right there." Strago pointed to the man in the yellow radioactive protection suit.

"No more questions, Your Honor." Sabin sat down.

Shadow walked over to the old man. "Mr. Magus you pointed to this man here as the culprit responsible for Mr. Bucklebrook and Mrs. Mora unfortunate outcome. Are you absolutely certain it was this Cid?"

"I trust Mr. Bucklebrook and Mrs. Mora's honesty." Strago folded his arms.

"I don't doubt their honesty; however, did you see him commit the crimes? Did she show a picture of this man?"

"Well, no."

Shadow nodded. "Then how do you know it was this very Cid?"

"How many Cids could there be?" Strago replied.

"Well, how about this?" Shadow snapped his fingers. Cid Highwind pops out. "Hey, I am Cid Highwind but I never did nuthin' like that 'cuz I flunked Bio. Anybody who accuses me of (bleep) like that is a (bleepin') lyin' son of a (bleep). Yeah! Zzzzz…" He falls asleep.

Gestal bangs his gavel. "Get him out of here! I will not tolerate that kind of language here!"

Cyan and Gogo pick him up and dump him out the window.

"How about this?" Shadow snaps his fingers again. This time, Chief Engineer Cid from Baron pops out. "I'm Cid and I touch nobody unless that body is a fine piece of machinery of Mother Nature heh, heh." He looks over to Celes who turns away disgusted. "Sorry, I'm not natural."

Gestal frowns deeper. "Out!"

Again, they toss the man out the window. "Hey- AAAaaaahh.."

"Perhaps it was this Cid." Shadow snaps and out pops Professor Cid from Balamb Garden. "My name is Cid too."

Gestal sighs and bites into a pastrami sandwhich. Gogo sniffs the new Cid. "I smell strawberries."

He nods and smiles. "Yes you do, and that's because I have this!" He pulls a soda from a vest pocket.

"STRAWBERRY CID!" He begins passing out his fundraiser soda. "The much needed sweetness to fill this courtroom with the dainty berries and fresh fizzy smell."

"Hey!" Gestal tries to protest, but everyone crowds around Cid.

"I want one!"

"I'm thirsty!"

"Ooh, so sweet!"

Gogo squeals. "Gimme one too!"

Gestal is handed one. "Oh alright…(slurp) ahh! That's good…NOW GET OUT!"

Out goes the last Cid and Gestal bangs his gavel. "That's enough of that. Let me remind the court that this courtroom is not a promotion stand."

"Then why are you wearing a Dollet T-shirt?" Kefka pointed to the shirt with the phrase, 'Just Dol-let' on the front.

Gestal shakes his head. "Nevermind that, please continue Defense."

"No further questions your Honor." Shadow sits down.

Kefka stands. "Your Honor, we call Bannon up to the stand."

The entire room groans. Even Sabin throws his pen down. "Aw, man."

Shadow shakes his head. "Their secret weapon."

The fury bearded man sits down. "Now where shall I begin?"

"Exactly were it is that I begin to ask you questions." Kefka retorts.

Bannon gives him a puzzled look but nods. Kefka continues. "You were formerly the leader of a secret organization hidden within the mountains called the Returners. Describe them."

"It's a secret." He replies.

"In this courtroom, there are no secrets. Spill it!" Kefka grins.

"Very well, we reside in the caves near the Figaro Desert. Our mission…"

Three hours later, the courtroom was barely alive when Bannon finished. "This is what we strive for."

Setzer was banging his head on the desk. "Make him stop! PLEASE!"

"I can't take this, I'll assassinate him." Shadow growled.

"Somebody shut him up!" Gestal ordered.

Cyan stood up. "Bannon! Tell us what angers you the most."

"Why its monsters like that." He points to Kefka.

Kefka's eyes widened. "What!"

"Low-life scum like that is an abomination." Bannon continued.

"Hey, you're our witness!" Kefka jumped up and down in frustration.

"Better let him go on, he's really getting into Cid's bad side." Sabin joked.

"Talk about his face." Setzer shouts out.

"And his hair." Gogo adds.

"That's a face you would only see in a B movie from the Circus from Hell channel." Bannon went on.

"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Kefka shrieked.

Gestal chuckles. "Heheh, defense?"

Gogo jumps up. "That's ok, I think Bannon did a wonderful job. That's Kefka alright, but we must ask one more question."

"Is that wise?" Shadow asked.

"Bannon, who would you say is at fault here, Cid…or the man who controlled him. Emperor Gestal!"

"Wha-whaat?" Gestal's head snapped up in alarm.

"Boy, there's another freak of nature."

Gestal became furious. "Get him out of here!"

"That hair…" Bannon didn't finish as he was tossed out of the window.

"Alright! Defense, it is your turn. Let me stress this, anymore hooligans or uncontrollable Espers and all of you will be sentenced along with Cid. Is that clear?"

Gogo nods and stands up. "We call Terra Branford to the stand."

Terra blinks for a moment as she realizes her name has been called. "Me? Okay."

She gets up to the stand and sits down after being sworn in. Shadow walks up to her.

"Ms. Branford, you are part Esper and part human. You met Cid after you found your father in the labs. Yet, you still consider him a friend. Why?"

"Well," Terra takes a moment to take in the question, "it was at the most crucial and dangerous hour at hand. The shock of seeing my father and my own kind suffering was overwhelming. Yet, I found solace in Cid's words and wisdom. When he told me he regretted everything he did and would never continue working in the field of science, I believed him. He didn't even realize that they were killing the Espers. His research was simply taking some of the power from Espers and studying it. He never worked on the actual extraction of Esper spirit. It was…" She looked at Kefka and Gestal for a moment before proceeding, "some other people doing that."

Terra stopped as she saw a familiar figure holding her microphone and using her cameraman. "This could be the turning point for the defense's side. With Ms. Fizzywig on the stand-

"Hey!" Terra stands up and points at Yuffie accusingly. "What do you think you are doing here?"

Yuffie fluffs her hair. "Hey, this is my calling, courtroom drama. You think they can stick me on the suicide show forever? Besides, it's not like you were doing your job anyway. You're up there." She giggles.

"How dare you!" Terra gasps getting off the stand.

Shadow tries to stop her. "Miss Branford." She shakes off his grip and storms down the aisle.

"I can't stand you!"

Yuffie smiles a frosty smile. "Honey, get used to it. I'm going primetime."

"Terra, please come back here." Cyan begs.

"Get lost toothpick princess!" She shouts at the thin girl. Yuffie becomes furious.

"Bring it on!"

"I've got pom poms!" Gogo shouts out. Cyan shakes his head. "Please Gogo, I think we've done enough."

Gestal stands up fuming. "That's it! I have had enough of this nonsense. Prosecution and defense, do you have anything to say about your poor excuse for a case?"

"I'VE GOT POM POMS!" Gogo shouts at the top of his lungs.

Setzer just smiles. "I think that about sums us up too."

Gestal bangs his gavel and throws it down. "Fine! I sentence this entire court to fix this courthouse! Everyone pick up a hammer and boards and start right now!"

Cid stands up and points to Gestal. "That's right, it was you who forced me to do those experiments. You said no one would get hurt!"

"Now what am I telling you to do?" He shouted back.

Cyan picks up a hammer shaking his head. "This is a disgrace."

Gogo stood up on the desk, shaking some pom poms. "Rah, rah, fix the court! Rah! Rah! Be a sport!" Shadow yanks him off the desk forcefully.

The two news reporters are still at it. "That all you got, Fizzywig?"

Terra turns helplessly to Maduin. "Daddy!" She whines.

Maduin shakes his head. "Sorry, I gotta work."

Yuffie gets away and goes up to Shadow. "How would you sum up the sentence?"

Shadow looks to the camera. "Well, I would like to say that once again there was no final ruling. As always, justice still needs to be served and this is ridiculous. I'm losing money." He walks away, grabbing several boards and a saw.

Yuffie turns and smiles into the camera. "Well, this is Yuffie Kisingari reporting from Vector Liberty Courts saying, BYE!"

End.

Well, I don't know if there will ever be a perfect sentencing for any of these cases. Still, who would want that? Well, Shadow does…Oh well. R and R please.


	6. The Courtroom Idol

This is for MegaMario and all the others that have waited for so long

This is for MegaMario and all the others that have waited for so long.

Final Fantasy Law Cast:

Judge Gestal

Prosecution- Kefka, Sabin, Setzer

Defense- Cyan, Shadow, Gogo

Defendant- Edgar

Prosecutor- Kohlingen mayor

Bailiff- Locke

Witnesses- Celes, Strago, Thief

Reporter- Terra

The story opens up with Terra fixing her jacket and her hair. She smiles and raises her microphone.

"Good morning, this is Terra Branford at the Vector Liberty Courts. Today's case brings in the famous King Edgar of Figaro Castle against the town of Kohlingen. The mayor claims that the tunneling castle ran into a sewer main and caused a major back draw of sewer water into the town center. We will have the full coverage in this new and recently renovated courtroom. Let's take a seat."

Terra and crew enter the sparkly new courtroom. For once, the people are busy whispering and debating the case rumors.

Shadow, Cyan, and Gogo are unusually quiet. Shadow leans over to Cyan. "What are we doing here again?"

"Justice must be preserved. We shall not lose another case to mass pandemonium."

"Then I ask again, what are we doing here? Do you actually believe that this will not end in tragedy?" Shadow grumbles. "I don't get paid enough for this…ESPECIALLY this!"

Gestal walks in with a creepy smile.

"Here ye! Here ye! Court is now in session!" Locke wails at the top of his lungs. "All rise for Judge Gestal!"

"Please be seated," Gestal took his seat and sighed. "Aah, the wonderful smell of new courtroom."

"Alright, let's get this started. What is our next case? Oh no!" Gestal gasps.

"Your honor, the city of Kohlingen is bringing up charges against the King of Figaro." Locke pauses and looks up bewildered. "Doesn't that mean, HE, will be here? Wait, where is he?"

Suddenly, the double oak doors fling open and a wind of change blows through the courtroom. A familiar man in blue steps through and removes his sunglasses in a very anime-like pose.

"JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL! FOR I, EDGAR KING OF FIGARO AND DEFENSE ATTOURNEY IS ON THE-"

Edgar is forced to shut up as he is dragged down the walkway by Celes.

"Shut up and sit down! You're the one on trial, bozo." She slams him down in the defense chair and he turns to grin at his former colleagues.

"Well, long time no see guys. How's it been? Have you won a case since I left? Of course you didn't but no worries since I'm back in the saddle, we'll be winning cases left and right now. Of course it's been a while….so what's the deal?"

He is met with silence as Cyan, Shadow, and Gogo turn back to face the extremely irritated judge.

"Judge Gestal! Why you-

"Now that's the last I want to hear from you! Can't you see it's YOU that's on trial and I hope you realize now that you are not above the law! So help me I'll make sure you pay not just for this, but the curse of mass hysteria you seemed to have placed on this courtroom since you last left." Gestal spat at him.

Edgar blinked and looked around. "I'm on trial? For what?"

Locke steps up and clears his throat. "Ahem! The mayor of Kohlingen is claiming that you and your submarine castle broke a sewer main line and caused millions of gil in damages. Oh, he also claims you tried to run off with his new wife."

"His new wife? Where'd he leave the old one at?" Kefka snorted.

"Probably should just look under his shoe. Did you see how big that guy is?" Sabin replied.

"Order!" Gestal banged his newly polished gavel down. "Let's begin so I can sentence him."

Setzer stands up and bows to the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen of this newly refurbished courtroom…"

"-And might we add refurbished jury." Shadow mutters under his breath.

"Objection Your Honor, those aren't real jurors they are cardboard cutouts of the latest top 12 Imperial Idols season 25!" Edgar shouts out.

"Oh really?" Gestal chuckles menacingly, "Why they look like they want to know what this judge thinks…MWA HA HA HA!"

Cyan shakes his head sadly. "My word, this does not bode well for you, your majesty."

Edgar crosses his arms. "Ha! If he thinks a minor obstacle like that will stop me from proving my innocence, he better think again."

Gestal finishes by wiping a small tear away. "Ahh, continue Setzer."

"Very well, today we shall show you that justice is blind, justice is absolute, and that justice will be swift and merciless. Watch as this pathetic man of madness is run over by this other man of madness in a box and refurbished wig, not really for the charges he is brought in here for, but actually for a personal vengeance all of his own. We will gladly watch with satisfaction and a slight hint of gleeful madness of our own as we take part in this case of destruction, thank you."

"That doesn't sound like the right opening for this case." Relm says scratching her head. Strago pats her gently. "I know child, I know."

Gestal's smile holds no kindness as he replies. "How fitting, prosecution you may call first witness."

Kefka stands up. "Your Honor, we call huge sandworm to the stand."

Gestal snaps out of his euphoria. "Huge sand-WHAT?!"

Before he can finish a giant sandworm slithers into the court, gobbling up one of the people in the pew. "GRRRRRAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!"

"What the hell are you thinking?! Prosecution- D'ah!" Gestal ducks as the monster takes a swing at him.

Prosecution giggles maniacally as they slap each others' hands. Defense watches in shock for a moment before throwing each other a look and taking out their weapons.

Shadow sighs, "Here we go again. Cue battle music."

(Regular battle music ensues.)

"Stop this at once! You can get rid of this thing without music! Hurry up hurry up it's coming back this way!" Gestal hides under his desk as the team slay the big slimy beast.

GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!! (CRASH!)

It slumps down and Gestal peeks out. "Is it dead? Good, bailiff, remove that carcass and let's resume this trial."

"Uhhh," Locke steps up to the smelly thing and attempts to remove it. "Grrr! RRRRHH!"

"Now, prosecution, come here." Gestal points to the front of his stand. They saunter up quietly.

"Why did you do that? You have a very rare chance to let me be your friend and ally here on this case. Don't screw this up with your amateur antics."

"We don't need your friendship!" Kefka snips back.

"But won't you be our neighbor?" Setzer sings to him.

"Dang it, guys! I want him put away for a long time don't you see you just have to play it safe and I'll agree with you." Gestal growls softly at them so the other team doesn't hear.

Sabin sniffs. "Hmpf! We have our own way of working this case, so sit back and let us do our job."

Gestal sighs and flicks his hand at them to return to their seats. "Alright, now since that didn't go well, I'll give prosecution a chance to redeem themselves with a second witness. Go ahead."

"We would like to call Silver Thumb to the stand."

Cyan frowns. "I don't believe this. They are calling a thief to the stand. Where is the justice in that?"

Gogo looks up from his crossword puzzle and looks cross-eyed. "Where's a thief?"

Sabin walks confidently up to the grungy-looking man. "Mr. Thumb are you willing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as you see fit?"

"Why not?"

"Good, I would like you to tell the courtroom what it is that you do."

"Uh, I work underground a lot. You know, doing stuff."

"Objection! This man is a common thief. He states that from the way he dresses to the way he pick pocketed the man in the third pew on his way to the stand. He can't possibly be a credible witness." Shadow shouts out angrily.

Ironically, it is Edgar that pulls him down. "Its okay, Shadow. Let the man speak, for all you know, it's not his fault he has had to live a life of crime, is it Mister Thumb."

The thief grins, "Yeah, that's it. I had to do it for the kids, you know?"

Cyan looks at Edgar aghast. "What on earth are you doing? You are aiding thy brother in sentencing you."

Edgar just winks at him.

"So you were doing what you do when you heard a strange noise. What was it?"

"I was working underground when I heard a loud rumble. At first I thought it was an earthquake, so I just continued on when I heard another weird sound. It sounded like grinding metal and then the sound of rushing water. When I smelled what was coming, I just got out of there, to hell with Ramey and the others."

"Right, so you crawled to the surface and saw something quite vital to this situation. What did you see?" Sabin leaned against the stand and peered at his older brother.

"I saw that mechanical castle sprouting up out of the ground not far from where I was working."

"No mo' questions." Sabin turns to the thief and takes back his wallet before returning to his seat.

"Your turn, defense." Gestal leans back, rubbing his belly in contentment.

Gogo skips over and gets up in Silver Thumbs face. "So, you left the others behind, did you? What kind of a thief do you call yourself? You know better than to just leave them when trouble is about. You're supposed to make sure they aren't around to talk, you know what I'm getting at?"

"Wha-what? I don't know what you're talking about." The thief stammers.

Gogo begins to file his fingernails on an imaginary emery board. "I heard that a couple of stinky thieves were caught trying to infiltrate the Figaro Castle later on that day. They've told some interesting stories about a man that left them behind with 'the bread'."

Silver Thumb slams his fist down. "Those rats! I should've got rid of them when I had the chance! Ah!" He looks up and the judge and smiles sheepishly, "I mean, I sure hope they are okay. It's hard work down there in the dark."

Gestal shakes his head with alarm and uneasiness. "I'm sure you mean that. Defense, please stick to the case."

"Yes, anyway you say that you thought at first it was an earthquake, but have you ever actually experienced an earthquake to know that is what one is?"

"Well, no…but I imagine I have a pretty good notion."

"Have you ever experienced the submersion and travel of Figaro Castle to know how to distinguish it from an earthquake?"

"How would I know what it sounds like underground? Nobody alive could tell you that! All I can say is that it must move the ground like an earthquake!"

Gogo snaps his fingers in the man's face. "Aha! So you are simply going on assumption. Perhaps what you heard what indeed an earthquake and it broke the sewer pipe. The water then caused Figaro Castle to emerge at the same time you reached the surface."

"I-I don't know!"

"You know nothing! You sad pathetic excuse for a thief!" Gogo suddenly turns angrily to the jury box. "I fail to take the credibility of this witness as I happen to demonstrate how unprofessional he is at his profession."

Gestal scratches his wig. "HUH? Gogo what are you-

"As I also demonstrate how through this cross examination I have successfully stolen his wallet, watch, belt, and his 'bread'." Gogo holds up his booty over his head. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Gogo runs happily out of the courtroom with Silver Thumb running after him. "I am a thief! I **was** stealing Kohlingen supplies! Gimme my bread!!"

Gestal slaps his hand to his forehead. "I can't believe this! I'm about ready to just sentence this lunatic and the entire prosecution and defense team!"

Shadow stands up. "I understand, Your Honor however we still would like to call our first and only witness."

Gestal grins wickedly. "I deny this, however I shall allow you your closing statement."

Shadow sighs. "Very well, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. This man has done no crime to the people of Kohlingen. His work as an engineer and mechanic is known the world over to be some of the best in the field. I know he is a bit of an ego maniac and a ladies' man, but he is also a good king. And a good king knows when he's done wrong to a fellow neighbor's land. He would honestly and truthfully acknowledge he caused damage and pay for it." He glares down at the young man. "In fact, he personally would work on improving the sewer lines and see to it that the entire network was in good and working order, wouldn't he?"

Edgar shrinks into his seat nodding. "Of course."

Shadow continues. "As for the wackiness that occurs in this courtroom, well, I don't think its right to place the blame on just one man. I think we should look at the entire group of people that come to this place every week, thinking we have a right to judge who is innocent and who is guilty."

Courtroom drama music begins.

"I hereby state that we should hold a vote as to who should run this courtroom, and I leave to the jury to do this, thank you."

Kefka laughs. "You can't leave it to the cardboard crew. They can't vote!"

Cyan stands up. "Well they'll have to…for justice!"

Gogo stands up as well. "For liberty!"

Edgar looks up at him. "Hey when did you get back? What happened to Thumb?"

Gogo says nothing, but his eyes move rapidly back and forth.

Gestal slams his gavel down. "This will not be done! I think that's it for this trial!"

"Hey, what about our closing statements?" Setzer shouts back.

"There will be no need for them. I hereby claim this defendant gui-

Suddenly, the doors burst open and a telegram man jogs in. "I have an important telegram for Judge Gestal."

Gestal lurches forward. "I will not have interruptions during my very first judgment and sentence, bailiff!"

"I got it!" Locke removes his popper.

POP!

The telegram man crumples to the floor. Locke drags him to the 'bouncy castle' and Cyan picks up the telegram. "Sire, this could be important."

"It can't possibly be as important as this moment." Gestal says through clenched teeth.

"It could be about that new boat you purchased." Setzer leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. "It could be your bill. You can pay me right now."

"I think it could be your mother calling you to tell you to come home before your dinner gets cold." Sabin sneers.

"Perhaps you won the lottery and you could retire and never have to see this courtroom again." Celes quips.

"Perhaps it just says, 'you suck'." Kefka says, deadpan.

"Alright, I'll open it! Give it here!" He snatches it away from Cyan and tears into it.

"It reads; We the Imperial Idols of season 25 find the defendant not guilty."

"WHAAAAT?"

Gestal blinks with surprise. "I don't believe it, how do they-

"That would be because I have connections." Edgar stands and adjusts his collar. "Allow me to explain, because you decided to use the cutouts in this public courtroom, I am allowed give them a call since I own part of the stock and materials that are from that show."

Gogo giggles. "He's in charge of the pyrotechnics."

"Please continue with the telegram, I'm sure there is more." Edgar grins triumphantly.

Gestal looks down at the yellow paper and swallows. "'Furthermore, with the use of our images against our knowledge prompts us to take you to court for trademark and copyright laws and illegal downloading of our music.' Wait, how do they know…"

"Therefore I am automatically innocent in a corrupt court of law, case dismissed!" Edgar shouts out and the courtroom goes wild.

Terra gets up and runs to the now free man. "Wow, this was an unusual turn of events. How do you feel that you are the first case to have a sort of complete case closed."

"Ah, it feels wonderful. It couldn't have been done without…me." Edgar throws the camera an award winning smile.

Shadow shakes his head. "I don't believe it, we actually won."

Cyan sits down in his chair in disbelief. "It worked, it actually worked….we'll get paid."

Sabin turns to the others. "This is crunchy, man. Why couldn't he have let us do our closing statement."

"So what if they won, I don't see it as a win. I see it as Judge Gestal screwing up. We would have won if he hadn't skipped to the verdict." Setzer shrugs.

"I'm hungry." Kefka gets up and walks out.

Terra turns to the camera. "There you have it, folks, a new courtroom, a new case, and a new day in Vector Liberty Courts. I'm Terra Branford saying tune in next time for another Final Fantasy Law. Bye!"

Notes- Okay I know it has been a while since I last updated. I came up with this pretty quick, but I hope it's funny. On another note, I messed up the name of the city but I fixed it, ya.


End file.
